Reconnecting with Self

Today I got a booklet from my shul about the high holidays. I really like it and it has some valuable things to remember to do at this time of year. Right now we are in the month of Elul which is a time to reconnect to self, to soul, to to relationships and to life. It's a good time to take inventory and ask: What went right? What went wrong? What new habits need to be in place to improve myself, my relationships? What needs repair and what needs to be thrown out?

Right now I'm definitely taking inventory of many aspects of my life. First and foremost, my relationships with myself and with those that I love and care deeply for. I'm looking at what is healthy, what is not. What can be nurtured with love and what I must let go of. I'm looking at my spirituality and realizing I've been bad about the little things that made me smile, that warmed my spirit; like candle lighting on Shabbos and kissing my mezuzah. Sometimes the little spiritual things are so big. I haven't been as committed to connecting with other Jews which I know a year ago really helped me feel connected with myself.

I'm acknowledging the things in my life that don't make me smile and more importantly, I'm acknowledging the strides I've made in positive directions. I'm not going to beat myself up about my faults and the things I've screwed up.

I'm going to forgive myself in order that I may forgive others. I'm going to love in order to be loved. And I'm going to be committed to myself because that's how I will find people in my life committed to me.

I'm praying to G-d for clarity and peace right now; for myself and for others.