"Who Feels it Knows it Lord"

This is a comment to a post on TikkunGer's blog. His blog posts a quote to think about. My response took a life of it's own and is here for your reading pleasure. :) As TG explains:

About a week and a half ago Tamara bought a book entitled Jewish with Feeling by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi and seemed to be connecting to maybe not everything but much of what was in the book. So this week I decided to pick the book up myself that way we would have something to read and discuss together.

First, I love the idea of sharing a book as a couple. It's lovely and something (as I've shared) that I think can really add to dynamics of a relationship. So often people connect spiritually, socially, physically; however, academically is an area I can't say I've really connected with someone. And, spiritual academics for sure not. And with that I'd like to share what I enjoyed and got out of Chapter 4 "The Meaning of Mitzvah".

The quote that "...we are all Jews by choice..." most assuredly speaks to me (pg. 115). Yes, some of us are, by blood, born Jews, but to be "Jew(ish)" is something we do with certain level of concious choice. To understand what I mean, let's look at the suffix "ish". The meaning of these three letters has intrigued me since many years ago (at least ten) I realized that being a Jew is different than being Jewish. From randomhouse.com: -ish is a suffix that forms adjectives from nouns or other adjectives. A very common sense is 'after the manner of; having the characteristics of;. In other words, Jew(ish) literally means "Having the characteristics or manners of a Jew". Now, of course that in and of itself can be debated to no end. But for the sake of this, I'm not finding it necessary since an agreement on that is not likely to happen amongst Jews. :)

One could suggest that a Jew, on some level, chooses the Jew(ish) manners and/or characteristics that they hold as their own. According to Zalman, "The leap that Judaism asks us to make is not a leap of faith, but a leap of action. Ta'amu u-re'u" (pg. 116). Personally, I think there is a big part of it in faith, but action is for sure the concious part of my own choosing to BE not just a Jew, but Jewish. I like how Zalman discusses that the actual performing of an action, custom, ritual, "...as a mitzvah...draws us into a higher level of dialogue with the universe" (pg.117). For me that means a higher dialogue with G-d since I do know and believe that G-d is all, is everywhere, is the universe.

Zalman uses the ritual of touching a mezuzah to illustrate this point (pg. 117). This is something I can strongly relate to. I grew up with a home that had one mezuzah on the front door. I can't even assuredly say it was hung the proper way (my dad's, to this day, is facing out instead of in). I never saw ANYBODY kiss the mezuzah growing up. I just knew it hung there because we are Jews. The meaning was never there for me. About 8 or so years ago is when I got my own mezuzah. I had never had one or even thought of having one. But, I met some observant friends who showed up to my home one day with the gift of a kosher mezuzah. My friend did the blessing and we hung it up. It was special. It was ritual. It was something that I don't even know if I knew exactly why, but it felt right, and it felt like home. Now I have 4 kosher mezuzahs in my home. I try to remember to kiss them each time I pass by them. Each time I remember, it's a personal reminder of my acceptance of G-d. And it's a reminder of my own Jewishness. Do I fully understand it? No. But, do I see it as beneficial and empowering? Absolutely.

Zalman talks about the mental component of mitzvah and how "repetition does not equate to mindlessness..." (pg. 119). I really love this notion because I can relate. Simply.

Part of the chapter discusses Eduyot, ritual "that are beyond the realm of common sense" (pg. 129). Again, there are things in my own life that I've begun to do, they ebb and flow, but they are things that I may not even understand, and I'm ok with that since they are things that just feel good, feel right. For example, the washing of the hands and saying the prayer before eating bread. Someone explained to me once why we (Jews) do this. To be honest, I can't remember now, but I like it just the same. :) The conscious effort to make a prayer and a physical ritual that connects to it seems to click. I don't do it at home at this point in my observance; however, I love the ritual on Shabbos. When I go to a kosher eatery, even if I don't do it, I am concious that I skipped it because I know it's something that we do and I've done it plenty, and so the little patterns have left an imprint in my brain, soul, heart.

I know some people would say that doing things without fully understanding is ridiculous or clanish or whatever; however, if it feels right, if there is some meaning or warmth from it, I feel that it's my need and duty to embrace it. I really like Zalman's take on this whole concept. After describing an interaction with a Native American man and discovery of ritual observances, Zalman states, "They have meaning and power to this very day--if we let them" (pg. 134).

Perhaps the third level of mitzvah: Haskamah, an agreement in our heart (pg. 141), is the one that I most understand. I think many traditions, rituals, practices, etc. fall into this category for me since I don't always understand but my heart feels it. "Who feels it knows it Lord" (Bob Marley :) )

So, to come back to the beginning, my take on the quote about choosing to be Jew(ish), I can relate and embrace the notion fully. Yes, to me, a Jew is a Jew is a Jew. Some of us are more observant, some are less, but no matter what level we practice, in some ways, we choose the way the -ISH part exists or not in our own lives.

Please, let me say thank you to you TikkunGer, for indirectly challenging me to look deeper at this book and at myself as a result. I've said it many times, I study well, one on one, in a way in which discussion and analysis can occur openly. To be honest, this is the most academic writing I've done in a long time. Academic in that I'm responding to a text, using sources and analysis that's coming from within. No wonder I majored in English! If I haven't said it recently, I'm glad for the blogosphere and that it's brought you into my life for a bigger purpose.