I suck ... it's a consensus
I feel like a real ass and a lousy friend right now. I'm just beginning to learn that this unselfish person I consider myself, can really be quite the opposite. I suppose you could say I never learned how to put my own shit aside to support someone else when they may need it most. Talk about a wake up call.
If there is one great thing about having new people in our lives, it is that they can provide quite a new perspective about ourselves, especially when those people are quite honest.
Today should have been a great day for someone. But instead, I let some personal stuff come up. I suck. I'm trying to learn, but I suck sometimes.
To top that off...I got this email from a student this morning.
forget ur class then fuck that shit bitchSo, I guess it's a consensus. I pretty much suck right now. But, I am a sucky person who is learning and growing, so that must take away some of the suckiness factor.
Mark this day as eventful.
posted by Tamara @ 7:18 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
The first step is to accept your selfishness. Seriously. I always thought I was the good guy, because that's who mom wanted me to be. I used to hate myself when I wasn't. Now I know that I can't always be a good guy, I'm not always a good guy, and no one ever thought I was always a good guy. And they didn't expect me to be that. It helps to understand you're not always the best friend to everyone.
Hey Dave and Nani--Thanks
I know I'm not a horrible person. I promise I'm not beating myself up. This is my blog and last night I needed to just be straight up with myself and acknowledge some things. So, the blog was a great forum for it. And I also think there are readers who can relate to hurting someone close and maybe knowing they aren't alone can help. :)
Of course none of us are perfect. And I for sure understand about hurting those we love. That's the part that sucks.
Nani: As far as the student. I totally didn't take the email personally. I added it because it happened yesterday and I was taking inventory of the day and thought it was sort of a light way to end the post. This kid does have issues. He's bitter at me for catching him and his friends smoking pot at school and then he's missed a ton school and is behind and doesn't know what to do for his essay, nor has he made any real effort to work with me (which has been offered). So he vented on me. I'm totally not concerned with him. And I handled it. I gave the email to the dean and told the dean he wasn't welcome back to my class this last week of school.
As Scarlett O'Hara once said (as she dug her nails in muck)
"Tomaro iz anutha dayy"
(In the appropriate southern accent)
It'll all blow over!
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