"Turn and face the strange, ch-ch-changes..."

I really didn't have any spectacular posts in mind, but then I started thinking about my life, my choices, who I am. Sometimes who we are is very clear to ourselves. We think we know where we stand on most given issues. We think our thoughts our our's and our's alone. We think that we've lived enough life, have been dealt enough struggles, have faced enough challenges, have embraced enough experiences to settle comfortably into what we think is our norm. But then, something changes.

Changes are most of what I have been experiencing lately. Changes on many levels, one of those being my religious perceptions. I'm not questioning my faith, my faith is stronger than it's ever been. I'm not questioning myself or even my heart which is also transforming in amazing ways. My changes are about self discovery and the discovery of another person.

I grew up one way Jewish. I strayed a little. I reconnected and embraced traditions and rituals which I had not known or never experienced. Perhaps on many levels I don't know why certain things are the way they are, but I accept them for their tradition and meaning, even without always understanding. And now, life is presenting me with questions. Challenging me. Making me ask myself what works for me and what doesn't. I'm strong in how I am feeling. I'm strong in my beliefs. But, the thing that seems to keep coming up, that I found myself wondering is "is this enough?". And I find myself saying, "yes, yes, definitely yes". This is amazing. It's powerful. It's me. And it's me truly honoring who I am and my heart. WOW!

I think about compromises we make in our lives. We constantly compromise. We do it with basic things like which brand of cheese we prefer and if the store is out, we compromise and get something else. We compromise with ourselves when we are torn between two choices or decisions. We compromise for family, for friends, for loved ones. And I love this. I am experiencing true compromise with someone right now. Experiencing what it means to hear another person's side, and not just hear, but understand it, embrace it, and compromise. And I can strongly affirmatively say, I feel relief and joy that nothing I'm doing is compromising myself. (sorry if this is confusing, totally doing stream of conciousness here)

When I say, "Compromising myself", I mean...I can keep being me. Keep believing what I believe. Keep doing what I do. And at the same time, be flexible for another, and let another in. Perhaps my life will change; actually it for sure will. And you know, change is good, it's beautiful, it's amazing and it's liberating. Now of course, there's that religious question of the idea that some things DON'T change...but I don't know. My life and being has always been about change.

(For the person who knows this paragraph is for them)
This is amazing. I don't know I've ever really truly shared this on this level before.I mean, sometimes just letting my fingers fly over the keys of my computer, the thoughts come from a raw and true place. I guess that's why I blog. Did you see what I just said? OY! I sound like you, regarding change. I didn't see that before. But you're right! I do think in terms of growth and ever changing-ness.

(post note)
I was thinking more on this and realized, one change I need to do more is what I just did. Give of myself enough to admit I might not have it all figured out. UGh, vulnerability, hard, challenging, and healthy.
(inhale...sigh...smile...I love when someone opens a window and helps me see)