Dinner with the Boys

I pulled up to the house, not sure what to expect. As I approached the door, there were teenage boys there to greet me. On the outside it looked like any other house on the street, but inside, something unique was going on. Tonight, I got the opportunity to be a part of that something special.

I attended a Christmas party at The Boys Republic. I have three students who live there right now. Each year the home has a party for family members of the boys living there, administrators at my school, and teachers who are invited by the boys. The school I work at does a lot to support this home and the students that live there. I feel honored that the boys thought to invite me. To prepare, I bought each student of mine a book as a holiday gift. Of course, being their English teacher I couldn't have bought anything else. I also bought uplifting books: Black Boy, We Beat the Streets (an inspirational story about three boys who grew up in the hood, made a pact that they'd all go to college and become doctors, and how they did it), Tuesdays with Morrie.

When I arrived, some boys greeted me and directed me to where the tables were set and people were milling about. I sat at a table with a woman I recognize but had never officially met. She's one of our 3 deans. I found my three boys, gave them their gifts and met their families.

Next hors doeuvres: olives, crackers, marinated artichoke, ham (blech), vegetables and I'm sure some other odds and ends that I'm forgetting.

Then it was time for the tear dripping speeches. Some of the boys gave speeches about the home, the work they're doing there personally, the way the programs are set up, and about their lives and how they have changed. Some of these stories really touched me (and many others) to tears. When one of my boys spoke and referred to me as being there for him, well, I was proud but embarrassed too. Here I am, a first year teacher, new to this school, feeling like a mediocre teacher; and yet, I've touched some lives. I don't know what I did, but somehow I'm reaching these kids. I am proud of myself and the abilities I'm discovering. These kids need good role models.They need adults who will treat them with respect but also who don't patronize them. I feel great that they see some of these qualities in me.

After enough tears were shed, it was time to eat. The chef at this home is impressive. She cooked: salmon, corn, asparagus, pasta with feta and garlic, mango stuffed chicken, and some pastry stuffed with beef. It was amazing. I really enjoyed the salmon and pasta.

When dinner finished an award was given to one of my students for outreach and support within his community. In addition, he received a sort of diploma since he finished the program, was released from the court's authority, and completed high school. WHAT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT! So many kids don't graduate these days. Next a few donors spoke and gave Christmas gifts to the boys.

(drumroll) Dessert. I did good here, only had half of a mini cupcake sized coffee cheesecake.

All in all the evening was amazing. The kids were so courteous, friendly and mature. I know my own students appreciated my being there by choice. We hung out, chatted, joked, had an all in all great time. One of my students ate dinner with me too which was neat. He comes over to my table and says, "Miss, I'm gonna sit wit' ya cool". His mom was running late so I was glad to be there.

Before I left I got a tour of the home, their bedrooms, and facilities. I think it's important that teachers know what some of our kids go through. This home is great. It's strict, structured, but warm and caring too. The boys all have jobs at the home, specific guidelines about EVERYTHING they do: how beds are made, dishes are washed, when homework is done, when they can chill out, etc.

I think I want to get involved with this home, though I'm not sure at what capacity. I'm pretty sure I can volunteer as a tutor since they have tutors come often during homework time. Some teachers go and simply "chill" with their students on the weekends. This seems odd, except that, many of the kids have such screwed up relationships at home or with adults, that simply being present just might work wonders.

I hope each of you has a happy holiday (whichever one you celebrate). And, I hope you get to spend it with people who you care about and who you choose to spend it with. Trust me, your presence makes a difference to somebody.