Thinking on the day of Erev Yom Kippur

Tonight is Yom Kippur. This is a time to reflect, repent, renew, reinvigorate, reinvest in self. I'm looking forward to going to shul. To seeing the many new faces that I'll meet. This is one of the first times in my life when I truly feel like I'm becoming part of a Jewish community. At Rosh Hashana I was not only welcomed, but I felt comfortable. I wasn't worried about feeling like I was just an outsider hanging about. Today, right now, is somehow different.

I'm at home. I was playing on the net, reading stuff about Yom Kippur traditions and prayer and such; when I realized something. I have nowhere to go for the pre-Yom Kippur meal. Today I should be "preparing". The last few years in San Diego I went to my brother's for this meal. And yet, here I am, planted on my couch, drinking coffee. It sort of makes me sad. In my attempt to be pro-active, I called the rabbi's wife and asked her if she needed help cooking. On Rosh Hashana she cooked for at least 50 people, and she did it all herself. So I thought I'd call and see if I could help, assuming she would be cooking for a break-the-fast meal. But to no avail.

And so, I sit here, reflecting. This year has been a huge year of transition, new experiences, new career, and now a new community and friendships that I'm trying to build. Building new friendships as an adult is much harder than when we are young. At the same time, I've done some great Mitzvah's this year. In reflection I am smiling knowing that the first time my cousin wrapped Tefillin was with me in NY. Two friends I met through (of all places) Jdate were going to do nothing for the holidays, now they both (one in Chicago, one in N. California) are going to their local Chabad. The Chicago person will be in San Diego for the first night of Sukkos which is also his grandmother's Yarzheit, so he will most likely go to the Chabad there. I already spoke with the rabbi and said he was coming. :) It feels good to know I've made small contributions to my community at large. I hope they find meaning when they go. It's sad that so many young single Jews don't go to shul on the holidays because of the whole ticket issue. It's silly. We are Jews...to have nowhere to go is just wrong...so a big thank you to Chabad for always having an open door, no matter your affiliation or upbringing.
I hope all my readers have a meaningful holiday,an easy fast with few hunger headaches, and a great meal tomorrow evening...when we'll all be needing it :)