Friends are the Family We Choose: Pesach Reflections

Pesach this year was different for two very different reasons.

First, I went to Chabad SDSU for first night seder. I arrived at 8pm to the stark white, not very attractive building which has the year 1960 something written all over it. Despite the aesthetics of SDSU's Chabad House, the warmth and community spirit inside its walls are something that I hope everyone comes to experience at leat once in their lifetimes.

I entered the building, grabbed a Siddurim, and proceded to the right side of the partition separating the men from the women. Pesach services started around 8pm, immediately followed with the seder.

The other large room in the building (the building consists of two main rooms, a large kitchen, and an upstairs with something like 8 dorm style rooms which are rented to Jewish college students, boys, for super inexpensive rent) was set up for a feast. About 100 people came to the seder. Old Hassidic men with beards and black hats and jackets, to young college students in jeans and t-shirts. This just might be the best part of Chabad, the diverse people it attracts. The dinner was loud and lively. Singing, clapping, pounding, dancing, drinking....

From services to finish, the evening lasted about 4.5 hours. I had a wonderful time and was so pleased that my friend "M" decided to join me. I saw many people I've met during my ten years here in San Diego. The Chabad rabbi, Chalom, is a great guy and I adore his wife who is warm and mature and glows far beyond her mere 24 years. Her family flew in from Minnesota, all 9 (I think) flew in, the other 4 were here already. I was enamoured with her family, their warmth and genuine joy of being together. This brings me to the stark contrast to my second night seder.

Tonight I went to a seder. Once again I brought "M" with me because her family is not local. We walked in and immediately a cold air surrounded us. There was little warmth and both of us felt disconnected from the other 3 couples there. To make a sad and long story short, we were both glad to leave there. Luckily "M" is a good friend and understands. I love the fact that we are able to communicate without worrying about being judged by each other. It's not often I meet friends or people in general who share these qualities. I think tonight was a learning lesson and put some "things" into perspective for me. One thing is pretty certain; next year, I don't think I'll be joining them.

It's important to surround ourselves with warmth and genuine kindness, to be in places of comfort and of like mindedness, especially during the holidays. I hope that all of you had a wonderful Pesach surrounded by those who love, appreciate and respect you.

Hag Sameach!!