Arranged "Dates"

Sometimes dating seems to be a neverending search for that someone, who, the more we go on dates, the more we start to believe may not really exist. Although I don't know if this is the way for me, I see many positive points in the Orthodox way of meeting a husband or wife. See excerpts below. For complete article go to The Jewish Magazine

"Where ya going tonight all dressed up?"

"I'm going on a 'shidduch'."

"A shidduch? You mean a date?"

"No, a shidduch!"

"Are you crazy?"

A shidduch has long been thought about as being the Jewish version of a forced marriage. There is much misconception about shidduchs. Two sets of parents agreeing on a marriage for their children with out even consulting the feelings of the children themselves. Or maybe it is the Jewish version of the blind date. At any rate it has been the butt of jokes and scoffed at by the modern sophisticated youth.

Yet after a dearth of unsuccessful marriages and a fling of shacking up together as a prerequisite for a successful marriage that some how ends up sour, many young adults are reviving their interest in the old established Jewish traditional 'shidduch'.

What is the difference between a shidduch and a date?

Well for one, tachlis, the end goal, makes the difference. In a date the end goal is a good time with some one nice, whereas in a shidduch, the end goal is a quality marital partner. With these two diverse goals we can begin to understand the high marital success rate for a shidduch and the low rate for a date.

Don't feel embarrassed about trying a new method of meeting that special one. It is worth the extra effort to know that you won't be bothered with some dud, and eventually you will find that super person that is really worth the waiting for.