A Year in Reflection...a bit long winded :)

At this, the last day of 2004, I thought the right thing to do was a blog in reflection. This past year has been a long one; although the new year seems to have really snuck up on me. So much of the year is clouded in a haze of student teaching, working and going to school.

The beginning of 2004 found me teaching at Hoover High School. This is an inner city school with a student body as diverse as the United Nations. Amongst the students at Hoover, 60 native languages other than English are spoken. That statistic alone fascinates me. The myriad of backgrounds, cultures and customs that encompassed my students was a constant reminder of how diverse yet small this world we live in is. Teaching 12th graders as my first teaching experience was amazing. It provided me moments of truly feeling how my impact as a teacher will truly be going forward with my students as they grow and move forward in their lives.

In April I had to unexpectedly put my cat, Kaya, to sleep. This was a huge event for me. Not only because of my love for animals, but the whole process of making a life or death decision alone. The alone part is quite possibly what hurt most. The positive side to this is that there was a space in my home for another cat; and sure enough there was one that needed me. Chester was adopted into my family, I think in May. His owner committed suicide and I was there to welcome him. I can't say that "Reebok", my cat of 17 years felt the same. But nevertheless, my home is filled with love.

With the passing of my cat, the suicide of my apartment manager and the plethora of events seemingly related to death this year, I am reminded how short life is when I think of my brother who passed 8 years ago and my mother who is terminally ill. I think of the people who, just this week, lost their lives in Asia, the many men and women both in the US and abroad who have died in the name of "war", and I feel for many of my close friends who have lost parents and loved ones in the last year. I think of all this sadness and somehow think of how death and sadness make room for growth and hope. I still find a place for rejuvenation even in the midst of tears when I see the smile of my nieces and nephews, when I hear their laughter and when I hear my niece Rachael speak to me of things that I didn't know 6 year olds thought of. I wonder what I was thinking of when I was six; and when I am blessed to have a family of my own, I wonder what my own children will think of at this same age?

As I sit here trying to remember the big things that happened month to month, I seem to be at a loss. My year was so busy that on my free time I tended to play on the computer an awful lot. This addiction to the computer, and Jdate chat room in particular enabled me to meet someone about mid-year, around May. We began communicating and met while I was on yet another trip to New York; and although the relationship did not flourish, he is a great person and contributed in a huge way to my own self reflection and personal growth this year. My New York trip was lovely as usual and seeing my cousin Danny always makes me smile. He is such a great guy, I just wish he were closer so our friendship could grow.

My summer was a bit short since I began my second semester of student teaching in early August at Helix Charter High School. This experience was amazing. The school was very different than Hoover and challenged me both professionally and academically. I had an amazing mentor teacher, Barbara and her classroommate, Trina. I am so thankful for these two strong women who dealt with my stress, moments of confusion and overall student teaching experiences - which in and of itself is a beast. The culminating event to celebrate in student teaching is my very first teaching position.

I heard that a position had been posted for a one semester full time position at the school. With reluctance, I applied, interviewed, and got the job. My last week of student teaching proved to be momentus and overwhelming. All in the same week I completed my teaching credential program, completed student teaching, and got my first payed teaching job. Not to mention, I resigned officially from Kinko's. After 9.5 years, this was huge. I did decide however, to maintain an extrememly minimal number of hours weekly (4) so I can remain on the payroll and have a summer job lined up.

And so, I go into the new year with a new career, a new view on the world, and a sense of pride in all that I've accomplished, all that I have endured and knowing that, although sometimes it's easy to feel alone in this huge world, I have amazing friends and family who have been there, supported me and truly been my rock when I couldn't find my own. I feel I must at least mention my closest friends somewhere, if for no other reason that to acknowledge for myself how much love embodies me: Nancy, Carin, Rita, Robert, Clay, Kevin, Renee, John, Julie, Isabel, Peter, Mari, Sho and so many others that are close in my heart and significant in my life.

I wish EVERYONE a wonderful new year filled with the accomplishments and successes that you choose for yourself. I wish all of you love in all areas of life and the power to impact positively the people in your lives; the way the people in my life have done so for me.

HAPPY 2005